The center of pain...

aight.. so something kinda brought this back into my thoughts again.. what that is, I'm keeping to myself.. but do you know what it's like to have a lot of feelings for someone but because of whatever reason it is, you can't bring those feelings to the surface and actually act on them? To anyone who says that there shouldn't be reasons for that.. there really are, trust me. It's really painful. It's something that has been really testing my patience and I know that life will continue and I will continue to grow in Christ.. but there's still that part of my heart that longs and desires for someone I care alot about, but I cannot be more than friends. If you knew the circumstances, then you'd understand. Being a guy, I don't really like to shed tears.. but the tears I do shed are for the things that truly pull at my heart. Sometimes it's tears of joy, others are tears of pain. This case, it's a little of both.. I think of the person and how much she means to me as who she is, and that moves me. Then I think of the circumstances that stand in the way of having anything more than a friendship. And now from within the dark corner of my mind, my thoughts try to convince me that nothing will come of it, and to give up. But I know.... I know that God loves me.. and I do take delight in Him.. and because of that, he will fulfill his promise, that if I delight in Him, He will give me the desires of my heart. So, I do not trust to hope, but to God. He gives me my strength and allows me to continue each day to bring Him glory.

Okay.. now I've said it, wrote it down.. now to live it out....